Two and a half years ago I was coming back home from a show at Arlene’s Grocery in New York, when after a ten hour drive, I was sitting on the couch in a semi coma, being told that we were having a baby.. Stunned silence…
I couldn’t believe it! We were going to start trying for a baby at the end of that year so I was caught a bit off guard. I had no time to mentally prepare and I guess one is never really ready for a life altering thing as the birth of your first child, particularly a musician like myself. I had some decisions to make..
I have seen this happen and I’m sure whoever reads this has also seen the same. Quite a few people who are faced with a child on the way go into a phase or panic, thinking “I need to get serious, find or stay in a career and buckle down, because I need to support my kid”. I am no different. People will stay at a job or career that just isn’t what they should or want to be doing. It’s just easy to remain where they are regardless of the fact that the work they do does not move their soul.
When thinking about the reality of a baby on the way, I really felt some dread in my life and it was not the fact that a baby was coming. (she was a planned kid, just 8 months early) It was because I was a serious musician playing in a band, trying to make a career, but also working a decent paying job that was really sucking the soul out of me. I did not want my kid growing up knowing that her dad decided to sell his soul, and work this job up into a career that he hated so he could pay the bills, and help provide for her. I wanted to Rock! Not give it all up. I wanted to show my kid that you should do in life what moves you and makes you happy. I wanted to come home with a smile, to greet her being happy and fulfilled. I did not want her to think that paying bills and having money, means that you need to settle for something that is not fullfilling.
I feel that if you do what moves your soul, everyday has purpose and meaning. The days will not become a blur, melting into unremembered weeks and years that slip by very quickly. There’s a Confucius saying that goes like this, “Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life”. How profound is that!!!
Here’s what I did.
The company I worked for was bought by a major competitor, so I figured there would be some layoffs. I spoke to my manager, informing her that if they decided to let go of some staff in our dept, they could choose me and not have to bring a box of tissues to the meeting. Anyone reading this is probably saying to themselves. “This guy is nuts, he has a baby on the way”. Well after 8 months they gave me and many others the handshake. Yahoo! I was free!
I was at this company for 10 years so the package they gave me was very sweet. It was a major mining company so they’re known for giving out nice packages. I promptly took a contract at Ryerson University, which completely cemented the fact that I hated the office working environment with all it’s politics and poison personality people. I finished the contract and split. I couldn’t get out fast enough.
I toiled around for a year on EI benefits while I was deciding what I wanted to do, but I always new in the back of my mind that I should be teaching people how to play the drums. I have taken lessons and played for 17 years, I taught drum lessons at “Just Drums” in Toronto for a while, I had always taught friends and other musicians how to play drum grooves and fills, I had decent people skills, and the patience that is needed to impart knowledge that can be a real challenge to explain.
I applied and was accepted into a government program at the “Toronto Business Development Centre”. This program helps you to become an entrepreneur, helping you with a business plan, marketing, funding, and really helping to take the fear out of being self employed. I needed this kind of help as I had seen my parents go bankrupt on more than one occasion and the thought of being self-employed came with a certain amount of fear.
In the spirit of trying not to ramble and keep this blog short, I successfully completed the program, opened up Downbeat drum studio in my home, and now I have a really nice roster of students that I teach how to play the drums. I’m quite happy, fulfilled and I am sure my little kid can sense that. Mission accomplished. I am still building my lesson roster, paying my bills, I make my own schedule, and have a lot of personal time to do what I want. I am quite lucky to be doing what my heart requires for me to be happy. With all this said..
Do what makes you happy. Even if it requires some risk. There’s a big chance that you will not be dis-appointed. Look at me. I am living proof of that.
Peace!
